from Fire Coral

Anna Malan Jógvansdóttir

I swear it
 
if you hold my skull
up to your ear
you can hear the whispering sea


 
*
 
the sea: “let my salt air pull you in”
 
           

*
 
I fold my clothes
and lay them in a neat pile
 

           
*
 
bare foot
and rock
touch
as I walk out to the edge
 
the sea: “death is sweet as sugar seaweed”
 

           
*
 
I see how the sea flows
like blood
a threading of blue veins
beneath white skin
 
the sea: “I swim in you and you must swim in me”
 
           

*
 
understand
i have to because
 
           

*
 
my sweat smells like salt
my tears taste like salt
 
the sea: 
“listen to my watery sounds
salt blood
while my heart beats”
 
           

*
 
I throw
myself
in 
now
 
           

*
 
my 
body 
breaks
the 
surface
 
I drift in the pale blue
 
           

*
 
death is beautiful 
fronds of oarweed billow
while fingers of kelp
caress me
tenderly 

 
           
*
 
then the cold grips my skin
and my stomach clenches
and the waves
toss me
against the rocks
 
           

*
 
drowning
is the calmest of all deaths
the sea told me 

 
           
*
 
it
was 
a lie

 
           
*
 
terror-struck I swim
back to land
my nails scratch against stone
I cut my fingers
blood runs
slowly down the black rock
and I lose my grip

 
           
*
 
I sink mercilessly
farther
and 
farther
from
the 
light of the sun
 
           

*
 
I lie on the seabed 
my skin ice-white
and bruised
eyes staring
empty blue
 
 
           
*
 

am 
purple
 
my 
blood
and
the sea
 
I
am
purple

 
           
*
 
greenish-brown crabs gather
they claw
my cold flesh
and eat through
my chest

 
           
*
 
whelks catch my scent
they crawl through my chest
gorging on my livid muscle
 

am 
white
 
sea slugs slime their way
beneath
my ribcage
 
my heart wears
its skeleton
as a spiraling shell
over its slimy skin

translated from the Faroese by Matthew Landrum and Luciano Dutra